Stop making fun of me!

I love my cute husband! He keeps me laughing.

You see, every night I fall asleep to the TV on in the background. I don't think Alex is able to fall into a deep sleep with this noise, only a REM cycle (when you are in your REM cycle, you dream). In Alex's case, he more than dreams, he talks. His conversations make perfect sense to him, and even when I tell him he's sleep talking, he protests and gets frustrated that I don't understand his jibberish.

Alex: "Did you run those filters?"
Amy: "No."
Alex: "It's NOT funny!"
Amy: "Honey, you're talking in your sleep again, I'm just messing with you."
Alex: "NO I'M NOT!!! It makes perfect sense! I like the towers better!!!"
Amy: "What towers? What are you talking about?"
Alex: "STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!"

Then, Alex rolled over to the other side of the bed.

Then, a couple minutes later, I woke him up to kill a giant spider.

The Teeth Exploring Expedition

I had another conversation with Alex entirely in sleep, only this time it was complete with actions. I can't help but play with his mind when he does this, so I humor myself by responding to his narcoleptic statements. As usual, it didn't make any sense whatsoever:

Alex (in his sleep): I'm so sorry . . .
Amy: Sorry for what?
Alex: I'm sorry I'm not masculine enough.
Amy: Masculine enough for what?
Alex: For the teeth exploring expedition.
Amy: Honey, your masculine enough, just look at those buff arms.

At this point, Alex "man grunted" and flexed his arm muscles. It was hilarious!

I'm too Sexy for my Sleep

So Alex came on to me in his sleep a couple nights ago. His eyes were wide open, and he lifted up the covers, looked me up and down, and asked seductively, "What are you wearing under there?"

At this point, I didn't know he was actually asleep (his eyes were open). I sure thought it was quite the cheesy pick up line. I sleep in my underwear because it gets so hot in our apartment, so I answered, "uhhh . . . nothing. . . . I usually don't wear anything under my underwear."

I guess this wasn't the answer he was looking for because at this point, he rolled over and went back to sleep. I started to shake him to wake him up and ask him what that was all about. He had no recollection of the previous conversation and started to get mad for waking him up, "I have work tomorrow. Why are you waking me up?"

Talking in My Sleep

Maybe this all seems a bit narcissistic (hey, isn't that what blogs are all about!), but I recently got married to the most wonderful woman in world, my wife Amy. She's beautiful, she's delightful, she's charming, and she has a smile that lights up a room. She also tells me that I say the weirdest things in the world while I'm asleep, so I created this blog so she can share what I say. It's odd, it's bizarre, and I really, really hope it doesn't give you any insight into my subconscious. Enjoy!!!!